Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Tomorrow is a dream I cannot see !
oh! tomorrow is a nightmare of yesterday night !
it's someone's sorrow watched with glee,
a secret held tight - with a terrible might.

it's tomorrow's pain that winces my today s heart,
it's tomorrow's joy that bribes my today s toil
it's tomorrow's worry that tears me apart
it's tomorrow's insult that makes me rile .

tomorrow's a mirage of my deserted mind,
tomorrow's a hope that's blind.
tomorrow's a fear of the unknown,
tomorrow's a luxury amidst the uncertain !

-a.r

Tuesday, 14 August 2012


An ode to the old(?) man @ 65
In India 65 years is the age of retirement for many , but for the nation it might be just the beginning and No certainly we aint ‘retired –hurt’ yet … the 65 year old young free nation is yearning to take a flight off to realize a dream that was seen on a mid night 65 years back ,”when the whole world slept and we made “a tryst with destiny “ and “ woke up to light and freedom “ ….
light and freedom ….(sighs)  the biggest blackout in history , a midnight molestation , diktats on what to wear and not to wear . maybe the light shone was just a flicker and the eternal gloom still prevails or maybe I am just being cynical …. Well .. Am I ??
I have never believed in material progress as the only yardstick .. but why , in misery it is that we realize the value of the little joys of life and maybe , I don’t know for certain, too much affluence also breeds  decadence . But yet in our great nation it’s the double whammy of affluence-bred-decadence coexisting with an immaculate amity, the scourge of extreme poverty. The rot is systemic , malignant and multivariate .
Yet as I said what ails me more is the despicable state in which the polity functioning .. No , no .. I am not again one of those doing the “neta-babu” bashing !( which is in fashion !)… let us look beyond that … because a neta or a babu as an averaged model , not an individual , is but a representative sample of a society in which he/she lives . He/she  is more likely to be shaped by it rather than he /she shaping it … it is a difficult task in a democracy and a pluralistic , complex society to bring any discernible , stable change anyway by a single personality . My unease is over the quagmire a “APHILOSOPHY”  in which our polity is stuck .. APHILOSOPHY like  AMORAL  is  the lack of a stable coherent philosophy in dealing with matters . It is a state of “learned helplessness” as Martin Seligman ,the psychologist would call it .

What is my point after all ?- the “JUGAAD CULTURE”
Let me start with Foreign policy , because that is what triggered my thought process , we  have moved from the Non Aligned ideology to …. Well ..nothing or just everything as the crisis  or situation demands . It s a situation of fire fighting , crisis to crisis management , with a distinct absence of coherent philosophy. Instances galore , Iran , Syrian crisis , Maldives , Nepal , relations with  US and Israel ,our  role in the BRICS . We are found dumbstruck at times at the way things move in a fast changing world . As an emerging power we need to be assertive but at the same time respect reality . We lack the confidence of a nation with a plan .
 Ad-hoc at times , stuck in age old practices and prejudices in others , we falter to set new records -lows each time .Is NAM dead and needs a decent burial ? Should we move close to the US in view of the rising and threatening power of China ? then what about BRICS , should we sit together with both China and Russia , both key antagonists of the US . If that is the case with larger international scene , even with the smaller nations in the neighbourhood ours is a policy ad-hoc at best and dangerous at its worst . Nepal is in a state of “suspended animation” , Sri Lanka has thrown away all calls of concern for Tamils and there is a resurgent Sinhala nationalism raising its hood again and yet again our policy is directionless appeasement or reprimand and worse sometimes it is neither ! With Bangladesh too, the country we helped attain liberation , the Hon’ble  PM (in a faux –pass )says has  a third of of its population that is anti-India ! now who is responsible for that .
Maldives is also in a state of unrest and  uncertainty , even while the whole nation and its leadership looks up to India for guidance .
To  admit the least , we are in a state of shambles. The reason lies deeper , it lies in the absence of vision . In the lack of a mission and essentially in the absence of well-defined long term national interests, which I think traces to the lack of cultivated rational ambition as a nation.
In an equally dismal state is the condition of our economy , we were gung-ho about neo-liberalism just a few years back  and 2008 and since that bubble burst, we are again at sea with our policy, some terming it as 'policy paralysis' . w.r.t economy the problem is peculiar because it is not the lack of potential but the lack of direction that is doing us , unlike other developed nations who have reached stages of stagnation. 'To reform or not to reform' seems to be the question. And everybody from investor to entrepreneur is suspended upside down by this frustrating anxiety of uncertainty.

Now this chain or disease extends to all sectors , all societal structures & functions .. yet little as a nation do we ever think of  coming together to churn out solutions ? But as I take a even deeper and harder look it stems from our own apathy, pathological disinterest towards our nation and society… yet  we were mistaken in the ANNA movement , disiilusioned as we were , it s not the flashes of slogan-baazi  and show of “I too feel for the nation” that is needed .

 It is the undercurrent , a well formed consciousness developing within us about what it means to extend our ‘self ‘ to encompass our society and our nation . It is a crying need that we must develop this consciousness . An empathy towards your own people . Nothing dramatic , but yet subtle and radically reflected in the choices that we make in our own daily lives.

It begins with acknowledgment that it is essential that I have something that I owe to my land , my people and humanity in general , beyond family ties , beyond caste affiliations and beyond our own self –aggrandisement even if it involves the sham of philanthrophy 
.Mind you! we are very few in no. compared to the 120 billion population a large mass is illiterate or ignorant and easily amenable to devious manipulations .Yet we are the ones who can change the landscape .History is evidence for this , it happened in England long back , it happened in the U.S and it is happening in Turkey . Yet the point of departure ,( where the Anna movement actually failed) , we must throw away all our prejudices and affiliations when it comes to nation building . It is difficult , I know , but  is essential .. we need not become politicians but we must become proactive politically …

 The Chinese people for instance have been forcefully or otherwise being conditioned to keep in mind their state s presence in making their  day to day life decisions , and although it has curbed their personal freedom , it has led to an unprecedented  improvement in their quality of life and as a nation they are everywhere  from Olympics to Space travel !
But we are a democracy , a proud one at that . an ancient , stupendous , rich culture with a dizzying diversity and mind boggling human resources. We must bring that consciousness of the state into our homes , voluntarily, with a zeal and exuberance to be the change we want to  see . To goad ourselves into endless questioning as to the public benefit of our actions at every step of our life !

Only then  we can dream of a better India .only then we can make 65 seem young and immature !! ;-)

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

I WALK ON THE FRINGES OF YOUR CIVILIZATION,
SKIRTING THE ABUSES AND ALLEGATIONS,

MY FEET ARE SOAKED IN BLOOD,

TRUDGING THE PATH OF THE DEAD ,

I SEEK SOLACE IN CHAOS .
FOR THE NOISE OF THE SOUNDLESS SOUND

REVERBERATES IN YOUR ETHOS.
I SEE NO DARKNESS AS MUCH AS I CANNOT SEE YOUR LIGHT ,
FOR BOTH BLIND ME AND BIND ME ,
WITHIN YOUR "WRONG" OR "RIGHT".

NOW , DO I SEE YOU ?

IN THE CHARMS OF THE WORLD,
IN THE MEMORIES I BE HOLD,

IN THE INNOCENCE OF THE CHILD,
IN MY FANTASIES SO WILD,
IN MY EARLY MORNING DREAMS....,

YES I MAY.. , AND I DO , SOMETIMES 


BUT YOU TOOK AWAY , MY WAY BACK TO YOU,
ALONG WITH YOU , 
TO THE POINT OF NO RETURN ,
TRAVELS THE PRODIGAL ONE.

 



Thursday, 24 May 2012

RANDOM RAMBLINGS -2

sleepless dreams and a thoughtless mind ,
levitating into the garden of life ,
i pick my flowers with nimble hands 
but i do not know why i pick them 
as i know not why was i picked (in the first place !)
the garden s beautiful , perhaps ,
from what i make out from my cloudy vision...
but until i KNOW i cannot SEE !
so i try to learn then i learn to unlearn .... again i learn .
But will the garden wait ..?. will those flowers blossom again..?
yet i pick my flowers with nimble hands , not knowing what else to do...


BLACK WHITE OR GREY 

Doomed is the world that's black and white,

torn between dreamy day and a neurotic night ,
colored are our minds , colored is our way ,
all life , is painted in the shades of grey.

On the chequerboard of the universe ,
half - truths were enshrined as rules ,
And thoughts shackled by vices and virtues,
but lo !behold !
all life , pervades these meaningless borders.

poems from the yonder -2

THE DILEMMA

where lies redemption ,

where lies nemesis,
I know not ...


In the dark alleys
with dangling swords above ,
all company i had was a tune of solitude 
that lonely voice of melody .
crooning amidst the melancholy.


thoughts within dreams and
dreams within thoughts
I carried on
and NOW
there s a whole symphony out there waiting out for me

yet I fear the loss of my cheery tune of solitude ...

where lies happiness ,
where lies achievement ,
I know not ...


THE NOSTALGIA SHOP

excuse me ! is this what it is known to be ?
'yes sir ! its the "nostalgia shop" but nothing s free !'
oh! but i 've nothing to buy (and everything to lose )
rather am here to sell things to you
Memories !... some old , some new
some held tight in fright , some that keep me awake all night,
some with a whiff of the perfume of the past
some that were dreams that shone so bright
some with love -found and lost
all with some 'me' within 'them'.
'But why then ..?'
Because i am tired of seeing my tomorrow with yesterday s eyes.

poems from the yonder ...


THE TENDER TOUCH

The tender touch ..,
 I tried hard to erase , times rolled but your memory stays.

From whence did
ye slip into my dreams..
when was it that
‘the ethereal charm’
 transcended unto eternity of my being ..
 I could never know .

Like a pearl trinket that slipped down your neck,
you journeyed into my heart.
lucky is that jewel ...
that adored you and even in  its “fall” ,
 could still touch your heart.

life s an endless game and love may not be an end in itself ...
Yet it’s the only beginning
That I can see written across the skies
And an end seems to be starting
only in your eyes.

RANDOM RAMBLINGS

In those sepia coloured images ,
I could see her silhouette glowing,
the real heart in my real chest pounding.
It was my REM phase dreaming

and there she stood ,
in sublime silence, screaming (!?)
the menagerie in my mind echoing.

Around the corner of my eyes,
images appearing and fading ,
Into my veins is an ‘ecstasy’ that’s gushing
then slowing , receding . . .
and all i could see is the glowing ‘nothing’ .